Today, I tried to make myself happy. I wore my favourite dress, eat fried food despite being sick, watch movie but I'm still not happy at all. Most likely the month would be cut down to a week or so. This time there would be no regrets. Is it being the old days better? I thought I've done a great job in covering up all my past except for smoking, but no. I guess he prefer the past. I do too, where there is no sad in my dictionary. Why are people so nice to me now? Don't because I don't feel good, it makes me feel as if you have a motive and clearly I am gullible enough to fall for anything you say now. This time even my body tells me cigarettes ain't really my best friend. My cough is really bad but I don't want to see a doctor. If I have lung cancer or something, I would be really glad to know that I am dying early. Well, at least I carved regret into his mind for his entire life (or maybe not).